Why am I still awake when everyone else is FINALLY asleep?

Usually I love to be awake in the stillness of the night, when everyone else is asleep. I love to be able to have the volume on the TV turned down to 1 and have it seem loud. I love to just sit on the couch and hear the various snoring sounds come from the different rooms. I love to have this time to just wind down from the day. But tonight I just feel unsettled and really tired. That is what makes no sense I am exhausted, both physically and emotionally and all that I want to do is to crawl into my warm cozy bed, next to my warm and cozy husband and drift off to sleep, but I can’t. I know that as soon as I do that, Jonathan is going to wake up and need to be nursed, or Aiden will wake up screaming from a nightmare ( which has been a recent development, poor little thing). Something will disrupt the sleep that I crave and I am loathe to allow that to happen. So instead I am sitting here thinking about everything that is causing me stress right now. That is making me decidedly unable to sleep. Mainly it’s my kids. I am worried about my kids. That is my job as a mom, I guess. I feel the need to constantly worry about my kids.

And there it is…the little cry from my baby boy. It is time to start our night time ritual. I nurse him, he sleeps, I finally sleep, he cries, I nurse him, and so on and so on!
As for the kids, Jonathan is such a sweet little baby. I am not sure that he likes me yet. He always seems to look at me with this little face that asks, “What are you doing to me? ” or “Where is Aiden? Is he going to attack me?” I guess he is totally founded in his fear on that one. Aiden loves him…alot! He probably loves him too much! He is always kissing him and laying on him. Two days after we brought Jonathan home from the hospital, he was happily sleeping in the pack n’ play in our room. I quietly tiptoed out to the kitchen, careful to pull the door shut behind me. It wasn’t a minute later and I could hear the baby wailing. When I went to check on him, Aiden was not only in the room with him, he was in the pack n’ play with him and he wasn’t alone! He had an arm load of action figures and his favorite dinosaurs and he was enthusiastically showing them all to “Baby P.” I almost threw up! I grabbed Jonathan and ran out of the room and left Aiden in the pack n’ play. It seemed to be the best option and I was freaking out trying to figure out how Aiden had got into the pack n’ play without landing on Jonathan. At least  I hope that he didn’t land on him. After a minute, I decided that I was probably better off not knowing the details. It’s a scary place outside of the womb! The poor little guy is getting a first hand experience of that! Thankfully he is getting the hang of this outside living thing and hopefully he will start to like us, because we sure like him!

The story of Jonathan or as Hannah said, "My Mom had birth!"

February 20, 2011…Getting ready to go to the hospital!!!
I had a doctor’s appointment with Doctor Turner and the plan was laid out. Brian and I would head to the hospital on Sunday February 20th, in the evening, to be induced. I was hoping, actually praying, that our little one would arrive sometime on the 21st. If his labor and delivery were anything like my last, this could be a two day affair and I just didn’t think that I could deal with that again. My husband, hardworking man that he is, headed into work right after church to take care of some things so that his focus for the rest of the week could be our family. The kids and I went home and took care of a few final things so that I could head to the hospital knowing that the house was clean, clothes had been laid out for school for the week, meals were planned and my family would be taken care of. I wanted to know that things would be organized and that I had done what I could to make things as easy for Brian and my mother-in-law and the kids,  as I could. My mother-in-law, Joan, had volunteered to come to the house and stay with the kids while Brian and I were at the hospital. She called to say that she would bring some pizza for dinner so that we had one less thing to worry about. The plan had been for my dear husband to be home in time for dinner at 5:30. Well as they say..the best laid plans…He called me at 6:00 to say that he was just leaving. I started to panic because he works an hour away and we live a half an hour from the hospital which meant that we wouldn’t get there until 7:30. I hate to be late to anything but especially to something as important as childbirth! Thankfully my mother-in-law come through and offered to drive me to the hospital and Brian would just meet us there. So it all worked out fine. Things were back on track. As we stepped off of the elevator onto the maternity floor it all came back to me. The nervousness about what was about to happen overwhelmed me, as did the fear of another loooong drawn out labor. I looked at Brian, my rock, my partner in crime, and immediately knew that things were going to be fine. The excitement of meeting our new little baby took over and the nerves started to dissipate. And I knew that whatever happened was all part of God’s plan for us and that as long as we were in it together, everything would work out. And it did! The first thing that worked out was that the nurses put us into a big room! There are only two of the labor and delivery suites that you actually get to stay in after you deliver. This is key because the rooms that you move into are small and definitely not Hough-sized! Once the baby has arrived and the kids come to visit, the big room is key or we would be crammed in like sardines! I guess that this is the upside to the numerous NSTs that I had to have. The nurses got to know me (probably also because I am a frequent flyer on the maternity floor!) and thankfully they liked me so they saved me a big room! Yay for awesome nurses! Speaking of awesome nurses, I had a whole team of them. My first nurse was Brenda. She helped us get settled in and got things started. This involved sending us downstairs for an ultrasound because the baby was so high that she couldn’t tell if he was head down or not. It was kind of weird. There it was, 8:00 Sunday night, we were walking through the hospital down to radiology. It was so quiet. I felt like we were sneaking around doing something that we weren’t supposed to be doing. Thankfully the ultrasound was fine and the baby was, in fact, head down. Game on folks! We were in business. We headed back up to our big room and settled in for the night. The Cervidil was started, it was time to have a baby. The baby had the hiccups again! This child has had the hiccups this entire pregnancy, everyday! After a few hours of sleep, the contractions started. At first it was just crampiness. Nothing too bad. At 7:00 am the nurses switched and Brenda left and Andie came. Andie started the pitocin and it was time to get down to business. By 9:00 I was ready for my epidural. The crampiness had given way to increasingly painful contractions. The call went out to the anesthesiologist and my favorite man, Dr Randy Barrett arrived! He is like a rock star on the maternity floor. In a mere 15-20 minutes the increasingly excruciating pain was replaced by a warm and cozy numbness. Yay for the epidural! By the time that Dr. Barrett left, Brian was back from grabbing breakfast and my mom had arrived. It was 10:00 and I was about 3 cms. I still had 7 cms to go. They broke my water and I jumped to 4-5 cms. Andie got the room ready. She kept saying that she wanted to be prepared because she didn’t trust my since it was my 6th pregnancy. I kept thinking that she was jumping the gun because of how things had gone with Aiden…long and drawn out. But thankfully she was on top of things. At 11:45 Dr Turner told Andie to drain my bladder. Apparently a full bladder can literally hold the baby up and this baby was till pretty high. Well, she was right because as soon as she finished I jumped to 8cms. Dr Turner told me to let her know when I started to feel pressure. A minute later, I felt pressure and I knew without a doubt that it was time. She checked me again and I was complete at 10 cms. It was time to push! Three quick pushes later and Jonathan Phillip Hough arrived at 12:05 pm.  He was a long 21 inches in length and a lean 7 pounds 10 ounces! He was beautiful and perfect and he had the hiccups! I was in love…again!
Nice to meet you Baby Boy!
Daddy loves you so much!
Welcome to the world little one!
You are so sweet!
Once Jonathan had safely arrived and things had calmed down and phone calls had been made, my sister Jess came to meet Jonathan. Unfortunately her timing wasn’t so good. Right before she got there the nurses came to take the baby to the nursery so that the pediatricain could check him out and they could give him a bath and clean him up. She only had a little bit of time before she had to get back home and she didn’t get to see him. She finally had to leave, without meeting her little nephew. After that mom went home to get some lunch with the plans of coming back in the evening with my dad. It meant so much to have her there throughout the labor and delivery of the baby. I was looking forward to having her and dad come back to see the baby together that evening.
It was in that quiet moment after the nurses and doctors had cleared out and everyone was gone and it was just Brian and I and our new little baby, that the amazing gift that God had blessed us with really set in. Our little  family had grown again. I couldn’t wait for the kids to meet him, but I just wanted to cherish that minute of just the three of us. I know that Brian was thinking the same thing because he told me how humbled he felt that God had blessed us with another little soul to watch over. Wow…
Brian stayed with us until about 4:30 and then he had to leave to pick up Coley from volleyball practice. The plan was that he would pick her up and go home and have dinner. After that he would bring all of the kids to the hopital so that they could meet their new littlest brother.  Again I say, the best laid plans…We ended up getting a ton of snow and ice. The roads were terrible! What should have taken Brian about 45 minutes to do, took him over 2 hours. He didn’t get home until 7:00. Because the roads were so bad we decided that it would be best just to wait until the next day for the kids to meet Jonathan. It wasn’t worth the risk of taking everyone out onto the roads, so the visit was postponed. Because of the roads everyone who supposed to come and visit didn’t, except for my dad. He stopped in on his way home from work. It was really nice to have that visit with my baby, my dad and me. I don’t often get a chance to just chat with my dad. I really enjoyed our visit. After he went home, it was just Jonathan and me. I took advantage of the time to get to know my little one. I undid the blanket and just looked at him, his little feet and toes, his skinny little chicken legs, his long fingers and teeny tiny fingernails. His little head was perfectly round and so small as I cradled it in one of my hands. Once again I was taken aback by the perfection of this tiny little person, this creation of God. What a miracle each baby is!  
Our new little miracle
Tiny little feet
With the next day came a break in the weather. The roads were cleared off and the visitors came! Brian and his mom brought the kids. Introductions were made and our family fell in love, again. Jonathan had an instant fanclub! The kids were all fighting over who could hold JP ( as he was promptly nicknamed) or “Joe P” as Noah called him, or “Baby P” as Aiden called him. They couldn’t wait to get their hands on him. It went very well.  We also had Mema and Poppy visit as well as Aunt Joni, Aunt Sherrie, Aunt Lisa and Gramma Hughan. My dear friend Denise came to welcome Jonathan into the world as well as our good friends from church, the Bloses. That was a special treat because their little baby Jonah is only 6 weeks older than Jonathan and they are going to be BFFs. Jess came for another visit and finally got to hold Jonathan. Mom and Dad came again as well as my Aunt Marge. My cousin Shannon came for a visit. And the evening was finished off with a visit with my funny, sweet friends Lori and Amy, who not only brought gifts for the baby, but also a bottle of wine for me and a four pack of white russians for us to drink. I passed on the alcohol, but thoroughly enjoyed the company and the laughs. We are so blessed, not only with our beautiful family, but also our wonderful friends.
Meet Mama! She was here to see you enter this big world!
Jonanthan gets a hug from Babee.
Mema was so happy to meet her newest great-grandson.
Poppy holds little Jonathan for the first time.
Aunt Jess finally gets to hold Jonathan.
Welcome to the Hough family little one!!
Gramma Hughan meets Jonathan.
Pap-pap came to meet his newest grandson.
Wednesday was supposed to be the day that we were discharged. I was looking forward to getting home and take a shower in my own bathroom and lay on the couch and snuggle my new baby. I woke up and got dressed and packed everything up. I picked out the baby’s going home outfit, and sat down to wait for the nurse to bring him back to me so that I could get him ready. I waited and waited and no baby. Jill, the midwife, stopped in for a quick visit and to tell me how cute the baby was. (As if I didn’t already know that!) And then Dr Kisloff popped in. She is the pediatrician  who was checking out the baby so that we could go home. She is also a friend of mine. She started out by telling me how sweet he was and then dropped the bomb that we would not be going home that day. I wanted to cry, but I was able to hold it together, at least for the moment. Apparently he had tested Coombs positive, which  Dr. Kisloff explained, means that some of my blood had passed through the placenta and was “shredding”  his blood. ( Insert near hysterical gulp here!)  This put him at high risk for developing jaundice, which was already happening. His nice pink skin was turning quite yellow. He was already under the billi-lights and would need to stay there throughout the rest of the day and overnight. She was hoping that the intensive light therapy would do the trick and we would be able to go home the next day. Because I was breastfeeding, I was staying also. I immediately called Brian to let him know the change of plans. He was disappointed also. He had been looking forward to having our family all together again. The nurse wheeled little Jonathan and his light therapy bed into our room. The poor thing was just pitiful in his little protective goggles. He hated them. Who could blame him. he had been in a dark womb for nine months and was finally out where he could see everything and now here he was blindfolded! Thankfully the lights worked and by the next day we were packed up and on our way home. Once home we started to settle into our “new normal” and Jonathan fits right in. He is loved and cuddled, (probably too much!) by his brothers and sisters. He is starting to figure out the difference between day and night and is sleeping for about 3-4 hours at a time at night. Woohoo! We are truly blessed.
Jonathan enjoying his “spa treatment.”
Poor baby under the lights.
New big brother Aiden with little brother Jonathan