I am happy to report that my little border has finally turned! He is now upside down which is exactly where I want him to be! WooHoo! His head is firmly locked in heading toward the light. Who knows when that journey will actually begin, but I know that it’s coming. Sometime in the next three weeks we will be heading to the hospital as a family of 10 to come home as a family of 11. As a little side note, I have always liked the number 11. Maybe because my birthday is on the 11th. Brian and I were married on 11/11. It seems fitting that our little family will rest on the number 11. (at least for a while! :0)) Anyway, this little man will have a birthday and a name at some point in the next three weeks. I must admit that this has kind of caught me off guard. I have been very unprepared for this baby, which is pretty embarrassing seeing that I have done this about a million times. Life has been going full speed and I haven’t had time to just sit and think about having this baby. I don’t mean the actual giving birth of him, but I mean actually having him as a new little tenant in our home. What will he look like? How will he change our normal? Will he like us? How big will he be? What in the world will his name be? As my pregnancy winds down, I have been thinking more about these things. His clothes are washed. His bed is set up. I have bought some teeny tiny diapers. I have dug out my sling and nursing cover. Everything has been washed and readied for him . I have finally gotten all of the Christmas decorations down and put away. (Although my husband has re-decorated my entire living room in preparation for the super bowl with Steeler’s paraphernalia.) I am “ready” for him in the practical sense of the word. I just need to get “ready” for him in the psychological and emotional sense. I am ready to hibernate and wrap myself up in a new baby cocoon! I can’t wait to have him here to snuggle. He has deliciously chubby cheeks, which we saw in a recent ultrasound, that are just begging to be kissed. I can’t wait to have nothing to do but sit and nurse him. ( Ok, so obviously I will have more to do than that, but that’s all I’m going to do!) I am ready to get ready. I just pray that he doesn’t decide to come during the Super Bowl next Sunday or Brian might cry!
The new baby has taken my breath away…literally. I haven’t been able to take a deep breath since yesterday afternoon before the sweet little thing firmly planted his head right in the middle of my lungs. Not ideal. I have come to recognize the importance of breathing. It kind of comes in handy for the day to day tasks, like walking, talking and carrying smallish sized people. You get it. Now, don’t get me wrong. I love this baby! I have from the very instant that I found out that he was there, but this kind of togetherness, well, I am looking forward to holding him on the outside of my body, rather than having him wedged between my vital organs. That will be nice. I can’t wait to snuggle him and kiss his little toes and feel his little heart beating. I am a sucker for babies, obviously. And I actually don’t mind being pregnant. In fact I kind of like it, at least after the few months. Those are always kind of rough with the morning sickness and all. This time was even more challenging. When I went in for the initial ultrasound, there was nothing. Just an empty sac measuring 2 weeks smaller than it should have. I was devastated. I literally couldn’t get out of bed for a week. I just cried and cried and threw up (from nerves). Eventually the week passed and I was again laying on the table just waiting, too terrified to look at the monitor and see what I knew would be nothing. Only it wasn’t nothing! It was a tiny little bean with a beating heart! I have never been so thankful and so relieved. Our little one was safe and sound! After that the nausea went from being from nerves to being from hormones. I was actually happy to have morning sickness! Everytime I ran into the bathroom, I said a little prayer of thanksgiving. I think that maybe God allowed that week of worrying to remind me of how very precious each baby is, whether it’s your first, or ninth! The morning sickness gave way to gall bladder problems…woohoo. The gall bladder issues gave way to heartburn and numerous nonstress tests ( a major pain in the butt!) and eventually the inability to breath. But honestly, it’s all small compared to the ultimate payoff…a sweet little baby boy! I cannot wait to meet you face to face!!! This gift that God has blessed us with again is something that Brian and I know that we are unworthy of, but one that we welcome wholeheartedly! This little baby, this little soul! He is our responsibilty to love and nurture and teach the richness of our faith with. What a blessing! So I guess getting back to the beginning of this blog…this little baby has taken my breath away, literally and figuratively. And for that I am truly thankful.